Birdie’s Christmas Letter

Birdie always planned to write a Christmas letter, but she’d never done it. It seemed too much like tooting her own horn.

Hi, everyone. We have had a marvelous year. You may not have heard, but Gerald and I were awarded the “Husband/Wife, Father/Mother, and Grandfather/Grandmother of the Century Award”! We’re just so humbled by this recognition. Of course, we never could have achieved these honors without our amazing children and grandchildren. They make it easy to be award winners. TOOT, TOOT.

Speaking of those amazing grandchildren, we have five now. When they come over to Grammy and Papa’s, it is a happy houseful of commotion. Of course, they use their “inside voices” and never make a mess. Oh, did I mention that they have all been nominated for the “Grandchild of the Year” award? I’m sure glad I’m not on that committee. There would just have to be five first place winners! TOOT, TOOT.

Some of you may remember from last year’s Christmas letter,(doesn’t time just fly?) I had instituted a healthy eating plan and exercise regimen for Gerald and myself. Well, I’m here to tell you that hard work, discipline, and persistence pay off. I am now a size 6 (please don’t hate me, ladies) and the doctor just told Gerald he has the heart and lungs of a 25 year old! TOOT, TOOT!

As far as our daily lives are concerned, Gerald and I have been reading and discussing the classics. We pulled the plug on the TV (You can do it, too.) TOOT, TOOT!

Well, I have to go. I’ve got cookies to bake for those adorable grandkids, and later tonight I’m volunteering at the local shelter for homeless birds who have learning disabilities. TOOT, TOOT!

You’re always welcome at our place. We’d love to have you, but make sure you call first. I think we’re busy that night.

Remember to keep the Merry in Christmas this year!

Love, Birdie


6 responses »

  1. I actually wrote one similar to this one year. And mailed it. Then I wrote one that talked about all the faux pas of our family members: JI’s overdose on Flintstone vitamins and subsequent experience with Ipecac and the Mercy Emergency room, Michaela’s sabbotage of the dishwasher with Dawn detergent; Jessica’s uncanny erasure of the entire Windows program of our computer, etc. So we went from being family of the year one year (hyperbole) to being totally normal the next (which was novel, because all of the letters we received were from perfect families). I love your Christmas letter and really think you should send it… complete with toots.

  2. You made me laugh! I must admit that I’ve been sucked in to the Christmas letter competition on several occasions. It does make me uncomfortable to laud our accomplishments and blessings while editing the heartache and disappointments and frustrations — but what kind of Christmas letter would that be? Dilemma. Thank you, Birdie, for saying what we all think. Love you!

  3. Just wondering. Do Birdie and Gerald; a. “and since I have my i-pad and Gerald has his Kindle we can read most of the classics for free and with our new ultra high speed internet service we can download a whole library in seconds.” or b.”Hard backs of course. Words are so much more alive when they are printed on paper, and don’t you just love the feel of a good thick hardback in your hand (and then something about the sound of a page turning). and, Half the fun is searching through old-book stores looking for collectors editions.

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