Blondie and the Bandits

Now that it was summer, Birdie’s granddog, Blondie, had started staying out at night.  He wasn’t tied up or anything, and he didn’t run around the neighborhood. Just patrolled between Birdie’s and Lexy’s house, keeping an eye out for varmints. As far as Blondie was concerned, all varmints were useless vermin. Blights on the night. Fit only for eradication. Unfortunately, Blondie’s philosophy outran his courage. And that’s where it caused problems for Birdie and Gerald.

The raccoons come to Birdie’s bird feeder to feast on left over sunflower seeds. Blondie barks, saying something like, “You’d better get off this porch or you’ll be sorry!”
The raccoons stare back at him while picking up pawfuls of seeds and stuffing them in their mouths, and reply in a sotto voce kind of way, “Who’s gonna make us?”.

“Who’s gonna make us?”

Blondie answers back loudly, “You’ll see who’s gonna make you. I’ll tear you limb from limb. This is my Grammy’s porch. You’re not supposed to be here. You’re stealing those seeds. They’re not for you. You are lousy vermin!” All the while he’s thinking, “Be brave. Be brave. It’s your job to protect Grammy’s porch. It’s your duty to rid the world of worthless vermin. Be brave. Be brave. Don’t let ’em know you’re scared. Oh, man, why didn’t I sleep inside tonight?”
What Birdie and Gerald hear is: Ruff, ruff. Ruff, ruff, ruff. RUFF! SILENCE. They both drift back to sleep–almost. RUFF! RUFF! Then the sound of a large blonde dog running across the porch and assaulting the porch railing. Gerald asks, “Should we bring him in?”
Probably so. He’s a good dog.

good dog

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Check out my other blog at http://cheesedoodlesandothermisunderstandings.wordpress.comMade with real cheese for that melt-in-your-mouth flavor you can’t resist.
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