Tag Archives: writing

Birdie and her Pet Elephant

imageBirdie believed that one of the hallmarks of growing older gracefully was the ability to embrace change. And since there was no good alternative to growing older, then she wanted to do it gracefully. The hitch in the plan was that she had never done anything gracefully that she could remember. So maybe, she would just have to grab change in a big, old, bear hug and squeeze it till it cried, “Uncle.”

Birdie knew you couldn’t avoid change. When you’re growing old, change is the elephant in the room. You might not want to acknowledge it, but it’s still there, right in the big middle of things, making you squeeze past it to go about your daily routine. It will crush things you thought were valuable and irreplaceable in the process of trying to make a place for itself. And it will produce lots of by-product.

“The irritating thing about change,” thought Birdie, “was that it hardly ever gave you a warning.”

Not one that you were intuitive enough to recognize, anyway. So it always seemed to loom up out of nowhere, expecting you to put on your boots, hitch up your pants, and head out to unfamiliar territory at a moment’s notice. It required a bit of spontaneity.

“I can be as spontaneous as the next guy,” mused Birdie. “I just need a little advance notice.”

Turning on a dime was not in her bag of tricks. She could turn, but she needed a much larger coin to do it on. Something like a silver dollar.

“But change she would,” decided Birdie. “Change was sometimes necessary, change could be good, and change was inevitable.”

“Besides,” she thought, “if you’re going to have an elephant in the room, you might as well have some fun with it.”

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Birdie’s New Year’s Resolutions

Birdie couldn’t remember ever keeping any of the New Year’s resolutions she had made. She had fizzled out on all those committments intended to make her a better person–never followed through with the intentions that would transform her into a wonderful individual. She had a sneaking suspicion that the Good Ship Wonderful had already sailed. In fact, it had probably sunk. “I’ve been going at it from the wrong direction,” thought Birdie. “Maybe I should just grab a good book, relax in a deck chair on the SS Birdie, and enjoy the cruise.”

Birdie’s NEW New Year’s Resolutions

1. Stop feeling guilty about not making my bed. Just because my mother always made hers doesn’t mean I have to make mine.

2. Go ahead and dump those perfectly good leftovers. I can either throw them out now or put them in the fridge and throw them out two weeks from now.3. Lay off trying to brush the knots out of the dog’s coat. She doesn’t like it. Just give her a buzz cut every summer. She doesn’t like that either, but who cares? She’ll get over it. I’ll give her a rawhide bone.

4. Quit wishing I could live up to some “storybook grandma” standard. I hate baking cookies. I’ll buy Oreos.

5. Burn all crafting supplies and make room for my journals and notebooks. I am never going to make a quilt. So what?

Bon Voyage! And Happy New Year!